May 25, 2010

What a day. I mostly worked on the “Knowing Who You Are” workbook. Now I am so depressed I’m not sure what I need to do with myself. It isn’t like it is my fault that the world is like this. I do try to imagine what it’s like to go and live in a foreign land. No job, different language, no family, etc.

May 21, 2010

“Knowing Who You Are,” now we are supposed to lead kids on a Hero Journey of self-discovery. Sometimes I wonder if Central Office knows how little time we have for dealing with the kids that come into CPS care?

On another note, all of my physical maladies would be greatly improved by the judicious application of proper diet and exercise.

May 20, 2010

This week I have done a small amount of light quilting. I am making a pincushion for a swap with my online group. I tend to forget how much I enjoy this kind of sewing until I pick something up and do it. So, the next challenge is to pick up the bigger projects and see if the elbow is healed enough to work on those.

May 19, 2010

If I only had six months left to live – what would I do? Not necessarily in this order:

1 – Quilt

2 – Give away/sell my stuff

3 – Tell my family

4 – Quit my job

5 – Play with the animals

6 – Tell online contacts, clear all my contact lists, shut down games and e-mail

7 – Clean out room

8 – Give my Singer to Laura or Jessika

9 – Plan my ceremony

10 – Explore hospice options, if needed

May 14, 2010

So the first step in seeking happiness is learning. We first have to learn how negative emotions and behaviors are harmful to us and how positive emotions are helpful. - Dalai Lama

May 13, 2010

Think of something else, an activity that is more easily said than done.

May 12, 2010

So, I have some clearing to do about the being good issue. I will try and take a few minutes at lunch to get this done.

I sat in the empty conference room for a few minutes and concentrated on letting go of the issues I have over being good. Maybe I can get some input from Susan to work out a reward system.

It is also time to stop letting the TV be my sleep aid.

May 11, 2010

I am going to try a schedule change to try and deal with the stomach upset.

Interesting. I was reading “Reality Therapy In Action” and came across the thought that I can choose to be good. I very suddenly became angry. Why does the thought of being a Goody Two Shoes make me angry? What is the history behind this reaction? Every time I’m good something bad comes my way? What is going on?

Having to be the good kid was never rewarded or OK or good. I “got it” no matter how good I was.

May 10, 2010

Well, stomach continues to be upset in the mornings. I will talk with Dr Griffith about it next month when I have my next appointment.

Do I know what I want? Dr Campbell asked me that question. My answer was to stop being so sad. He indicated that was not a good answer, too general.

May 5, 2010

Happy Cinqo De Mayo!

According to Wayne Dyer, when I feel sick I should not think of how sick I am. Instead, I should think of how good things are.

So … I love my computer because it has all of my friends inside of it. … I need a hug. … I am grateful for my family. … I like being able to contact people that are outside of AZ.

The abundance exercises are to count my blessings and to be grateful. So I have been posting a blessing and a gratitude message on Facebook. BUT, and Dr Summerhill pointed this out, I have trouble internalizing.

May 3, 2010

I found the Craig’s List ad that has my phone number on it. I sent them a message but they hadn’t changed it when I checked a few minutes later.

April 30, 2010

Well, it has been a week now since Gov Brewer signed SB 1070 into law. This new immigration bill has a lot of people up in arms. My point of view is that the federal governments of both Mexico and the USA have dropped the ball and left us with few options. I do not like the bill but there are a lot of issues surrounding the bill that need to be addressed and no one, NO ONE, has been speaking to these issues at the federal level. This has been a long time coming and now it is here.

April 26, 2010

Dysthymia. That is the diagnosis. I have dysthymia, and exercise is part of the therapy. And once again choice theory/reality therapy/ACT is being a part of my life. I used to have William Glasser’s book Reality Therapy in Action but that was 20+ years ago and that book is long gone. The library has a copy and I will try and check it out. I also have Dr Campbell’s book Rapid Relief from Emotional Distress which is another take on choice theory/reality therapy. So I am well stocked on resources.