March 20, 2010

Happy Spring Equinox!

Today is the first day of Spring. Susan and I did a little shopping. We checked out a store that Lynda A told me about. I bought a nice pair of open toe shoes and a purse.

I was supposed to do three silly things but did not get it started much less finished.

March 2010

TEST

March 18, 2010

Today I am using again. And this time it is more out of habit than anything. I have eliminated Susan as a sponsor. She seems to have more of an agenda than I am caring for. My “methadone” sits on the kitchen counter top. I use it and then I use the real stuff. And brown is the best. Maybe if I start to refer to sugar this way I can take the 12 Steps more seriously.

I notice that when I get a little anxious or nervous that I start looking for my “stuff” and start using. I use it to celebrate.

March 17, 2010

Happy St Patrick’s Day!

I ate nearly an entire quart of ice cream yesterday. I am at the point once again where God exists and religion is a system designed to control. So once again the church I was raised in becomes an ungodly entity to me. On the other hand, so do all of the other churches out there in the big wide world.

March 16, 2010

So, this is how it goes – one of the applications that I like on Facebook is “God Wants You to Know.” And today’s message is to look at myself through God’s eyes. My immediate response is that this is why I am so f-ing depressed right now. My second response is that this is not the God that I grew up with. The God I grew up was a harsh, vengeful, critical God that wanted nothing to do with me. I started crying and couldn't stop. I made an excuse about athsma and went home. I think I need some help.

March 11, 2010

What a day.

I may have caught up with my bills. I sure hope so since I have to pay taxes this year.

March 3, 2010

Regarding my ongoing quest for a sweet chili recipe, I used too much brown sugar in the latest batch. And I need to use more of the chipotle peppers. Both honey and molasses are good sweetness boosters. And for those who have an interest I plan to post the recipe once I have it worked out.